A little biology exercise from class last week reveals a few things about me. And as I’m in class tonight, I thought this would be as good a time as any to show what I’ve been up to in Biology 101.

PTC Taster: I am not a taster. OTher than the taste of wet paper, which is unpleasant in it’s own way, I did not taste the bitterness of the phenylthiocarbamide. So, homozygous recessive for this trait.

Tongue Roller: Do I have the ability to roll my tongue into a tubelike shape? Am I a “tongue roller”? Yes. Yes, I am. And I’m not ashamed of that at all. Seems that I have the dominate allele for this trait.

Widow’s Peak: I’d rather not talk about hairlines, but if we must. A widow’s peak is a pointed hairline on the forehead. You know, like Dracula. I don’t have that. Does this mean I’m not a vampire? I’m not, but the reason is because I don’t have the dominant allele for this trait. Yep, another recessive trait.

Attached Ear Lobes: Look at those ears. Look at them. Are them lobes detached from the side of my face. Are they? Look closely. I’d say they are more detached than attached, but I have a fat head and that distorts everything. I’m calling this one another dominant trait, detached ear lobes.

Bent Little Finger: The end joint of my little finger does not bend inward (toward my other fingers). So that means I’m not a martian. No. What it actually means is that I have another recessive trait, this time for straight pinkies. Woot! Woot!

Hitchhiker’s Thumb: Does your thumb bend backward at the end segment when you make a fist and hold your thumb out? Like when your hitchhiking. Not that you’d do that. That’s just where the name comes from. Don’t hitchhike, it may not be safe. There’s a lot of crazies out there. You’ve seen the movies. You know. Be careful. Anyway, back to the test… I do not have a straight thumb. The end segment of my thumb has a slight bend, not much, but enough for me to confidently say that I have the dominant allele for hitchhiker’s thumb. It also improves my chances of catching a ride when the car breaks down and leaves me stranded on the side of the road.

Mid-digital Hair: Each of your fingers is composed of three segments. If any hair grows on the middle segments you’re a martian. Okay, maybe not a full blooded martian, but you have martian ancestors. Not really. This is not an indication of martian blood. But maybe it should be. What it is, if you have this weird finger hair (and I do… a single hair that grows occasionally on both my middle and ring fingers. So weird.), it’s an indicator of a dominate allele for mid-digit hair growth. You and I might want to look at gene therapy for this particular affliction.

Thumb Crossing: What? Yeah, I know. It’s not that. Clasp your hands and notice whether your left or right thumb is on top. Now switch them thumbs around. That’s not part of this, but it’s not comfortable; is it. Personally, I’m a big fan of the left-thumb being on top. If you feel the same, like me, you’ve got another dominant trait. That’s right, left is the proper thumb crossing way to be. Dominant, baby. Dominate!

Iris Pigment: Is there any color other than blue in your iris? Is there any color other than blue in my iris. Let’s gaze into each others eyes and see. This won’t be weird at all. I promise…. WEIRD. Let’s stop. My eyes are mostly blue, but I think eyes are not really a monochromatic. There’s all sorts of speckles and what not in there. But I guess I’ll call this not non-blue, which means that I have the recessive version of iris pigmentation. And all that staring by you… you’re a freak. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Just go look in the mirror next time. Weirdo.

Dimpled Chin: A dimple in the middle of your chin is caused by martian blood. For real this time. It is. It’s a scientific fact. Ask your doctor. Okay, it’s not. I lied. Sorry. I shouldn’t do that. It’s just another dominant trait. I’d say I’m dominant in this as well. Not Henry Cavil or Kirk Douglas dominant, but it’s there.

giffing around

There you have it. You’ve learned a little bit about me and maybe about yourself as well. And don’t worry about all that martian stuff. If your blood isn’t green they’ll never know. You can pass as an earth-human. No worries about the martian hunters. We’re good. Later.