What If: For Women, By Men

So I’m looking at the mail today and I see that the new Self Magazine has arrived. And all I can say is, what the fuck. On the cover is a very attractive, 20-year old Hayden Panettiere. Is this what my 40-year old girlfriend is supposed to be trying to look like? Ridiculous. Beautiful girl, but really, this is why my lady does protest so at my desire to see her naked. The expectation that real women will look like this is just stupid. The cover is chock full of blurbs about weight loss, because with a little bit of work, you too can look like this gorgeous 20-year old who has her own personal trainer. Not. And I was unaware, but there is a new sex trend. Is it bedroom bliss or a bad idea? Whatever, it’s swinging, and they dedicate a nice, long article to it. But I’m betting I don’t get none of that action 😉 . I could go on, but I won’t, instead I’ll share these with you.
I found these mock ups of women’s magazines done from the perspective of what if these magazines were written and produced by men. I can’t take credit for anything but bringing them to your attention and I don’t rightly know whom to give credit to for their creation. The UPC says, coolmaterial.com, so maybe that’s who I should credit. Whatever, I find them amusing. Hopefully, you will as well.

The thing about having your own hobbies, that is so right on. I can’t count the number of ladies that I’ve been involved with or my friends have been involved with that don’t have any hobbies. It’s maddening, and not just because they assume that because they don’t ever get out and do anything on their own that their man shouldn’t either. Pick up a hobby and enjoy the things you like. Suggestions, sure, scrapbooking, beadwork, tantric yoga, motocross racing, small arms combat tactics, whatever, just pick something. It’ll be good for both of you not to spend every free moment together.

He didn’t friend you on facebook? That’s a bad sign, move along. Nobody likes a flat butt. Highlights don’t make sense, particularly when taken to the extreme end of having striped hair,  it’s got to be a girl thing. And that last little thing in the bottom corner. The revealing study… It’s true.

Cleavage is great. I love cleavage. But if you’ve got the cleavage, that bra-less thing may be a bit tough to pull off. Victoria’s Secret is okay, sweet and sexy, but most of their stuff is a bit lame… ladies, why don’t we try something a bit hotter, something more akin to Fredrick’s of Hollywood.

If I never hear or see the word, va-jay-jay, again I will be oh, so happy. Later.